he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize