And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
