So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
