Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I did not marry a roomba.
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