Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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