Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
