we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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