oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
