it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
So apparently I’m into choking now
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