you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
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