I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
