So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
