you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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