Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
