Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
