It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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