Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
