they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
