How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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