You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
she smelled like a LAN party
tonight lets celebrate not being married
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
