don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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