we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
