It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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