please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
