im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
