Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
