I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
