I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
