yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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