I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
