Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
