If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
