so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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