His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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