Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
