Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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