And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
