dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
