We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
