Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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