the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Randomize
