people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
