I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
