it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
My dick has a subreddit
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
