i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
