I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize