Can Purell be used as lube?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Randomize
