I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
