Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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