I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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