I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
