I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
